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Amazingly, I just watched this TED talk this morning – however I am already halfway through Ms. Sandberg’s new book Lean In. (available on my favorite: Audible.com). In the attached clip she states three key messages, two of which I love and the third which I think is a bit iffy.
- Sit at the table: how right she is. Don’t sit on the sidelines or at the back of the room. Be noticed consistently, even if you are not presenting. If there is a large presentation, ALWAYS go to the front of the room. Sit directly next to or behind the reserved seats – usually reserved for the presenters or C-suite executives.
- Make your partner truly a partner: This is the one I am not so sure about. My father is an avid reader and is always testing me on facts / studies there is no way I will ever get right. Till one day he tells me about a book on marriage he is reading and then comes the test: “what percentage of things can a person actually change about themselves?” To which I reply, “maybe 20%”. And for the first time ever, I am in the ball park – it was only 15%, the study he referred to showed that 85% of issues in a marriage arose from individual characteristics that could not be changed. It does not mean that there are not workarounds, but it does validate that to go under the false assumption that you can change someone, or that they can even change themselves, will lead to exhaustion and frustration. Let’s be realistic here and work on solutions that fit our partner and ourselves rather than expect massive changes.
- Don’t leave before you leave: I LOVE this one!! This is why I launched Mamas That Work It and Integrated Executive Coaching. I see so much of this, women who slow down their career without really understanding what they can accomplish. They lack the infrastructure in their personal life to feel their career can move forward. And on the flip side, which saddens me even more is the young women who have decided that they will forfeit a personal life just to move their career ahead. Like most things, everything is possible, but a carefully laid out infrastructure is key.
More on this subject once I actually finish the book.